The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid ...hat the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra-large coffin or to amputate his member”.“Well I have no more money” states the widow “and it is against my religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece”.The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a brainwave: He’ll amputate his dick and then. "Why do you ask?" I saw a girl in PE today and she had it shaved. I was just wondering."After a few minutes, I said, "Would you be mad if I did that?" No, Jen, I wouldn't be mad."After we finished cleaning up the kitchen, we went outside and sat on the patio. The evening was warm and there was just the hint of a breeze."Can I ask you about something else I heard at school, Mom?" Sure you can, honey. You can ask me about anything." What's a blow job?"Mom gasped at my blunt question and said,. Everything okay up there?"Thump."Prolly nuthin'," Ned mumbled as he started up the stairs.Melinda had fallen hard against the door in her first attempt to open it. She lay on the floor moaning, her hand again giving rise to soft, wet noises between her thighs.When Ned's voice drifted to her, she had an idea.Not talking to him ... not talking to him ... not talking to him... she repeated in her head as she rose to her knees and pounded her free hand against the door once. She whimpered and sank. Dad’s T.V. sounded like static and as quiet as this place is, I always heard something from his room to let me know he was in there, but everything seemed so dead, it was eerie. I felt like I was in some horror flick and I was one of those moron girls thatwalk towards the very place the killer was at. I half expected to hear ‘Don’t go in there, you fuckin’ dumbass!’ from a random viewer. I slowly made my way to his door, glancing around me like some paranoid freak and gently pushed the door.
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