Thoughit's more convincing than I'd like."*****They got into the car and drove to the mall. Nathan sat in the frontwith their mother, while Brian and ...harles sat in the back.Charles put his hand on his thigh. It didn't feel right. It was toosmooth, and just felt different. Softer.He looked over at Brian. His legs looked smooth too."Brianna," he whispered, "do your legs seem different to you?"Brian rubbed his legs. Then he realised."They're shaved, Charlotte!" he whispered. "It's part of looking. For the first time in my life, I knew a female who spent as much time training as I did.Within maybe twenty minutes the rest of her team showed up, it was comprised of three men and three women. Two of the men brought their girlfriends with them, both of whom joined me under the tent. We exchanged hello’s, but that was it. As the first match started, I couldn’t help but notice how well everyone played. I was guessing just about everyone on the court had played this game at a competitive level. “Okay. Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people. Amelia sighed, and her breathing quickened. Her body began to shiver, but this time it was not in fear. Suddenly, she broke out into the first orgasm given to her by a man, me. Her back stiffened. Her body jerked. I could see that those were spasms of ecstasy. When she was done, I slowly withdrew my finger from her vagina and placed my dripping hard penis inside. First the head. I can't describe the feeling, it was that good. Then, deeper. And then I pushed the full length inside. And that was.
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